My intro...

Sun, Dec 1 2013 06:39am CST 1
1 Posts

My name is Andie. I’m 36 and while originally from IL I moved to MI for college and now own a home here in Kalamazoo. So how do I identify: Queer Butch MTF Pagan. That tends to cover most everything I share. Only just came to terms with / accepted in myself / allowed myself to express the MTF part since the beginning of this year (2013). It was always something I just didn’t want to think about or didn’t have the knowledge to understand. Looking back I have probably knew since I was a little kid but it just wasn’t something I could understand let alone admit to myself. Not to mention the fact that my story didn’t seem to match up with the “normal” narrative for trans people.

Why this year? Well normally I am the queen of ignoring things till they “go away”. I usually have this ability to compartmentalize things so well that they just fade out of my head until, of course, I am forced to think about it again. Let’s just say long story short it came back to bite me with a vengeance (depression & dysphoria sucks among other things). Thank god for supportive friends that got me thru to where I am now. The funny part is I feel more at home in the FTM community than the MTF community.

So where am I in this journey? They may have broken the mold when they made this woman but I am me. I am not a girly-girl / ultra fem by any stretch of the imagination. Not the biggest fan of dresses and such. I like a semi masculine / butch gender expression. Being a woman, to me, doesn’t equal you have to love dresses / you have to always wear makeup / you can’t like guy clothes / must be very fem presenting. Don’t get me wrong. A nice skirt, a great top, the right wig (thanks T poisoning for killing off my natural hair), just the right amount of makeup (very little), and a nice comfortable (if there is such a thing) bra is ‘effing awesome. But so are a nice soft t-shirt, jeans, and an old pair of comfy sneakers. I accept who I am and that is what matters at this point in my life. I also have an amazing Dr and was able to start blockers & hormones in July 2013.

Life is getting better now. Things are slowly coming into focus. I keep noticing more changes to my face and skin. Every so often I catch a glimpse in the mirror of the woman I always saw on the inside, which just makes me sooo happy when that happens. Still looking for more people like me. I know we are out there somewhere. Out 100% online and to my family. Everyone is, for the most part, very supportive (though my parents are still trying to accept). Work is an ongoing project but should not be an issue from what I can see. Things are getting better one day at a time.

Tue, Dec 3 2013 08:35pm CST 2
66 Posts
Hi BWPKeeper! Welcome to the site. Glad you're starting to understand and appreciate yourself for who you really are.

Things are really quiet around here so far. If you know others like us, please invite them! If this community doesn't pickup within the next couple months, I might convert this from a community site to something else, but I'm not sure yet.

Until then, check out the other forums categories and lets get to talking about some stuff!

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